The grey squirrel and MY fircone

I went bear hunting the other day and found a GIANT fircone. The GIANT fircone part is very true but the bear hunting probably needs some explanation. The 10 min 'on the way home from Whiskey Lake' detour was lead and facilitated by 2 Bedford'ites who are 2nd and 3rd year students, as a 1st year I felt I should listen to them although I did have a few questions - mostly to do with safety if we did find a bear, who was surprised to see us.  It had been declared by the 3rd year that we would see a bear and the 2nd year wasn't going to miss up on the opportunity so we headed up Whiskey Creek where 2nd year had recently been told, by a Ranger on a Kayak trip, that you are more likely to see bears. We traveled up a side track and my concern didn't subside as 3rd year started talking about Mountain Lions and none of us were decided on what we should do if we did see a bear - I was pushing for a joint decision on our exit strategy but we weren't decided on either a) standing still and making lots of noise b) standing still, being quiet but making ourselves look as big as possible or c) running.  Apparently there are different factors to throw into the mix as you respond to different bears in a specific way - identifying bears is not one of my strong points at all. But all concern left when we arrived at our chosen destination and exited the car, stealth was clearly not part of the plan and the noise of flip-flops and general chatter could probably be heard for miles around. Needless to say we didn't see a bear BUT I didn't come home empty handed because I spied a GIANT fircone! (pictured below)
I'd been looking for one for a while but they are usually a bit smashed as they have fallen off a tree - this one was in good tac, suitably spiky and leaking pine sap.  I brought my prized possession home and sat it outside the front door, it sort of looks autumnal and I am decided to add to my collection throughout the year.
And now the Grey Squirrel saga starts:
* I return home to find said Fircone 3 meters from my door, why? - I replace it
* I wake up to find it not at my front door but in the bushes near by, huh? - I replace it
* I return from reading by the pool to find a large Grey Squirrel frantically tugging it into the bushes - he makes a get away but has left a good few teeth marks in it.
As I am the larger species and have apposable thumbs, I'm assuming (rightly) that I will win, but I just want to see how far he can take it, there is a small pipe outside the front door that I am considering tying it too and seeing how Grey Squirrel deals with that - I'll let you know.

                                      Its pretty much as big as my size 8 foot!